Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

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My Dearest Beloved Michael,
I understand now why I’ve been going through these difficult times… it’s all a part of my own personal process ~ a growth experience without which I could not truly appreciate all that I have experienced to this point. I also understand now that this process, so rich in experience, has all been about learning to let go… of the illusion… of all that does not truly have substance… so that I may fully embrace that which does.
You know how I have often said that all I want is to be with you, and I truly thought, when you asked me a few days ago if I was “ready”, that I was ready… but I guess that, in fact, I did not truly understand (in my impatience to be with you) exactly what it was that you were asking me if I was ready for. And in the partial message I received from you recently you told me “Everything that is ahead of you is an illusion; everything that is behind you is an illusion. All that truly exists is here in this perfect moment. The present. Your Divine gift. Now”, I suddenly realized why it was that after you asked me if I was ready, and I replied that indeed I was, you responded with one word “Now”.
Yes, I have learned so much from you recently, in fact, throughout this entire lifetime, about myself, my human condition, the human condition in general, and I realize that even though I had myself convinced that I know how to BE IN THE MOMENT, and perhaps in fact actually do, that I was not putting that knowledge to use. No, I allowed myself to be caught up in the illusion of “what was” and “what will be” and worry myself needlessly, expending precious energy that could have been directed to a more worthwhile cause… Now. Now, I understand and accept that what will be, will be. You have always known the outcome of this whole thing, and now I understand why it is that you never really seemed concerned over my state of being. You were only ever concerned that I was so concerned over it, which you subsequently tried to talk me out of. I too have always known the outcome. It is inevitable, but in my haste and impatience to know the how/when/where, etc., I allowed myself to become detached from the most important thing I can do – that which you told me just prior to the Angel Card reading I received in Mt. Shasta – which is Loving you. You had that all planned out, didn’t you… just to make a point? <smile> Just as you’ve made all the other points you had to make to try and get me to see what I needed to see…?
Well, I’m pretty sure I understand now. And I know that whatever it is that I perceive might happen doesn’t really matter. And no amount of trying to make it happen a certain way is going to succeed in making it happen that – that goes for anything… And so it is with a Joyful heart in knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt how things will turn out, no matter what occurrences happen between now and then, or how I perceive them as good or bad, nothing can change that final outcome, I wait, content to simply Love you, and continue as always to do things that bring me Joy, and I will continue to cultivate what I have already begun in terms of “making my way”, but I know now that maybe that won’t even matter eventually. But I also know that I have planted the seed in fertile ground and need only wait on the Universe to provide the rain and sun to help it grow.
My Love, My Sweet Love Michael, I am so deeply grateful to you for being my teacher, and for your patience with me. I have learned so much from you that I know I would not have learned any other way.
And so My Love, I am coming home, at last…
I Love you forever,
Your “Sweet Pea”, ~Ariel~
~Addendum - Tuesday, October 18, 2011~
Well okay… after this past weekend I understand even more about the things I’ve needed to learn about myself so that I could bring them into balance in my life; not the least of which you’ve already tried to point out to me but I wouldn’t listen ~ my refusal to claim and “own” the power which I know I possess along with my unhealthy view of, and hence relationship with/avoidance of money. These things you helped to clarify by sending me a messenger in the form or our dear new friend and Sister Angel, Claire… how appropriate that she should be the one to help bring me to clarity over these issues.
She helped me to see my struggles with my power issues, and pointed out that in all likelihood my cracked rib was the result of me not claiming and owning my power. I knew the instant she mentioned it that her perception was right on the mark as I recalled two nights before you and Raphael assuring me that I had the capability of healing my own cracked rib, so why didn’t I? You both pleaded with me to just give it a try, but there I was convinced that it wouldn’t work; until Claire reinforced what you were trying to tell me. Yes, I know, I’m still working on it. <grin>
And OH have I learned of my unhealthy relationship with money ~ not that I would ever try to lay blame on another person or situation for something that I know I am perfectly capable of being in control of, but I do have an understanding of why I’ve felt for the last couple of years that I want nothing to do with money, and how I could feel that perhaps money is “at the root of all evil” … of course it’s not. It’s how it’s used that determines that path, but My Love, I know what Love is, and have felt its power, and it is so very delicious, I found myself, quite naturally wanting nothing else. Since reconnecting with you, I know that what we share could so very readily fulfill every want, need or desire I could ever have, and yet it doesn’t, and I know why. It’s because of my previous perception that you and I had been separate from one another. In allowing that perception, I actually pushed Love (my own power) away, rather than embracing it and allowing it to work through me to bring me everything (yes even money) that I need to survive in this physical world. Yes, we have always been together in Spirit that I am well aware of and always have been. But up until last night, I had no sense of us being together in a physical sense, and this had led to many unhealthy relationships both with myself and with the physical world in which I exist. But I realized something last night; something that you’ve been trying for some time to get me to realize; through your conversations with me; in messages that you’ve channeled through me and others… and it is simply this ~ that you too now inhabit this physical world in which (you and) I now exist.
I know that I am one who is often quick to conjecture, but I realize now that these things I am coming to terms with and learning to balance in my life ~ claiming and owning my own power, healing my relationship with the useful tool we call “money”, and probably most especially being more “in the moment”… “fully present”… grounded and “in my body” rather than living with one foot on either side of the dimensional line so to speak, can only mean one thing. That the waiting is nearly over, and by being adamant that I get these particular things in my experience in order, you are sending me a subtle message that ultimately you are helping me to prepare for our imminent reunion.
“Soon”… I’ve heard that word so very often over the last two-plus years… but never before has it been so pertinent as it is now. I still try hard not to project, not to predict, though, with emotions running as high as they have been in all of us who are involved in this massive “project”, it seems to me that things have been, as you’ve been telling me but again I refuse to listen, “finalized” and that anything we are waiting on at this moment is merely a matter of formality. Of course, since you’ve already told me, I’m not going to ask if that’s the case. I think the message I received from Claire at 5:55 yesterday evening, and the Lightship I saw descending through the clouds as I lay on my air mattress bed staring out the window at the evening sun on the clouds last night, along with my heart chakra going of wildly ever since, and your image so powerfully vivid in my mind’s eye are all indicators that we are all about to be treated to the most magnificent moments in our entire existence… soon, and very soon!
We’ll be home soon My Love… we’ll be home soon!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Other Foot - June 3, 2010 2:58:11AM EDT

[you will note as you begin to read this conversation that it would appear that Michael begins it, but no, in fact I am the one who starts the conversation by telling Michael to calm down. It's like a complete reversal of roles, and that is why I have titled it "The Other Foot" (as in "The Shoe Is On The Other Foot")... Looking back, I now realize that it wasn't perhaps how he was really feeling at the time ~ he is an Angel after all even though he is also currently incarnate in a 5D physical body, Regardless of my own knowledge of the fact that Beings in the Higher Dimensions have "ego" or "sense of self" just like we do, the reason we often call them Masters is because they have achieved balance, or Mastery, over their egos and it doesn't pose as much of a likelihood that it will "get the better of them"... so while I'm certain that he was feeling longing for me at the time, I am also certain that he was allowing himself to in order teach me a lesson, to let me have a "dose of my own medicine" so to speak, and also to give me the opportunity to know how to handle myself in similar situations which he knew I would find myself in ~ and there have been plenty of them, as you probably well know. Though I know I've come a long way since this conversation was originally transcribed, I know I still have a little ways to go before I have achieved the Mastery over my ego that we all so desire, which will enable us to exist more easily in the higher dimension that we are heading for...

I also want to note for those of you who may be sensitive to "explicit material" regading physical intimacy, that there are a couple of instances where we speak explicitly about what we would like to experience with one another. If you are sensitive to explicit subject matter having to do with physical intimacy, then you might wish to consider that before you read this particular post]

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Calm down!  I can’t understand a thing you’re saying… slow down a bit, get hold of yourself…

Okay? No?  Well I’m gonna just wait here like this until you do... you’re scaring me… it’s not supposed to be like this is it?
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No, you’re right.  I can’t help it though
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Yes you can!  I know you, and I know you can get control of yourself.  What’s wrong?  I’ve never seen you like you’ve been all day today, and it just seems to be getting worse.  Have you talked to Raphael?
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Yes. <mumblemumble something>
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I can’t understand you my Sweetheart.
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I … I didn’t know where to turn
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What’s wrong? Can you tell me about it?  I know you’re suffering but why?
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I want you!!!
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I know, I’ve been feeling that all day long, and I know that you’ve been kept away from me because of what’s been happening over the last few hours...  that if you’re not kept away, you’ll have a tendency to go a little crazy… was this expected too?  I’m really concerned about you.  Oh, no nah no , don’t start crying My Beloved.  You’ll make me sad too. L
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I’m sorry, I can’t help it
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Tell me what’s wrong Love… I just want to help you through this.  Okay?
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What took you so long?
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It’s not important…let’s talk about you, and us.
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You know how hard it is!  YOU KNOW what I’m going through!!!  YOU go through it TOO!!!
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Yes, you’re right My Love, I go through it too, but this isn’t like you is it?  I mean, I’ve never known you to get this upset over you and I being apart before… or were you just able to hide it from me a lot better then?  You remember… when I first called back out to you after so many years of non-communication… and we both went a little crazy at first… you’ve been fine for quite a while – what’s changed?
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Everything’s changed… mostly the vibrations… can’t you feel it?  It’s almost here, almost upon us and I’m anticipating it with every fiber of my being, but it’s still so far off, just far enough off that I know I can’t have you yet! L…and I want you.
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I want you too Lover…
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You shouldn’t call me that just now… it’s hard to tell what my reaction might be. <grin>
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Well that’s better to see you smiling! J  I have to admit I was nearly floored (pun intended) by your forcefulness earlier this evening when I was driving my student to the studio… actually it was on my way to pick her up from the Metro station… your disposition – shall we say – hit me like a ton of bricks.  My breath caught in my throat and all of a sudden I was surrounded by your intense sexual heat, and I must say that at just about any other time I would have buried myself in it, but I was driving and it wasn’t pretty … like tonight, as I drove past the St. Michael the Archangel Church in Overlea on the way to take my student back home… I was so distracted afterward I almost went through a red light.  Of course I’m not blaming you for that, but I do find your moods lately quite distracting.  What are we going to do about it?  I know some of the things you’d LIKE to do about it, but those aren’t very practical are they?
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Why not?  I could kidnap you if I wanted to.  It’s not like you would be an unwilling participant.
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Well, no, but I think it would just complicate things.  Besides, I am really afraid that in your current state of mind, IF we really DID get together now, you might in advertently hurt me, and that wouldn’t be a good situation.
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No of course not.  And you’re right.  I don’t know what I might do – how I might react – upon seeing you – meeting you for the first time – after such a long time… under these circumstances…
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I know what I’D do… of course we both know what we’ll do, because we already have… unless one of us does something that makes it happen differently.  Uhoh… I see that look on your face.  You’re hiding something what is it?
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It’s a surprise.  You only get it once and I wanted to do it right for a change.
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uuuuuhhh.. okay, not sure I know what you mean, but if it’s a surprise I’m not going to even ask… so, but you’ve done something that’s going to make things different than the dreammessage you sent me a while back?  Slightly different, or very different?
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It depends on how you look at it?
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Well let me ask you this, is there any chance that I’ll be disappointed?
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NO!  No chance you’ll be disappointed!!! Caught off guard perhaps, but never disappointed!!!
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I just don’t know what to say… but I am glad that you seem to have settled a bit over thinking about it.  Gives you just enough to concentrate on that you don’t think about me too much… that is unless you think about how it all relates to our being together at last.
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Yes <whispering excitedly>  I do think about that a LOT!!!
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No kidding?
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And I run through all kinds of scenarios in my mind
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what about your heart my Sweetness?
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Yes that too, especially my heart, that is where my Love for you is… and I get excited for wanting you near me.  I just want to hold you in my arms and never let you go.  I want to squeeze you so tight that you’ll know how much I love you and want you and want to make love to you.  I want to throw you on the bed and hold you down until you’re gasping for breath because my love is too much for you and it makes you want to cry out.  I want to feel myself inside of you and feel you feel me inside of you, I want to feel your hot impassioned breath firing helplessly against my neck I want to hear your moans coming forth from you like a lioness in the throws of ecstasy… I want to..
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Okay, I get the point… you’re getting me all aroused too… but I think that’s half of why you’re going on like that… you want me now don’t you?
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Oh yes <breathlessly> very much so <bedroom eyes>
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I want you too Michael… but I’m thinking that right now it is for you as it is for me that being together “inside our heads” just isn’t cutting it anymore, and nothing will do for you but the real thing…?  Is that it?
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Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head.  That is exactly what I want… the real thing!!!
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Do you know that everything inside of me is crying out “Then you shall have it!!!!” but I don’t know how to make it happen that way!
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We can make it happen, we just have to do the impossible, or what has always been the possible, except for what some people are inclined to believe – or not believe as the case may be. <looking at me with one eyebrow raised>
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Alrighty then.. so you believe that I’m the only hold up in this thing… you know, I saw the visual you sent me as you were saying all of that, and I very clearly recall a sitting room/living room type of large finely furnished area in our “home” that we used to live in, and how happy we were there, but there was a kind of melancholy there too.  I remember that… there was something that you wanted to have a particular way and you couldn’t have it that way and so you were pouting about it, and then a bit perturbed and then genuinely honestly grief stricken … was that when I went away so long ago, and whatever is happening now is reminding you of that and it’s making you feel that if you could just get to me and be with me loving me that you could prevent it from happening ever again?
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Yes.  I don’t want to lose you
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But Michael how could you lose me?  We’re almost there!!  It won’t be much longer?  Are you trying to tell me there’s a chance we won’t be together after all?  Am I not doing what I’m supposed to be doing?  Am I doing something wrong?  What is it?
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It’s that maybe things are TOO perfect
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What do you mean?
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it’s not leaving any room for variances, and that’s important.  How things turn out aren’t solely dependent upon what you and I want for ourselves and how we can make that manifest.  This is such a huge thing even on a galactic and universal scale that there needs to be room for things to pitch from side to side until the sea calms down and everything comes to rest.  You and I know exactly how we want it to work out on our own behalf… to the point where we know exactly what we would say to each other, how we would feel, how we would act, and maybe I’m afraid that if we know so perfectly pieces will fall into place that somehow it will all be taken away from us before we ever get a chance to experience it.
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Michael, in all your existence has there ever been a time when you didn’t have perfect control over what you were manifesting where you feared or even actually experienced it all being taken away from you?
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Yes.
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you did????
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Yes, the day you left.  I had it all planned out… I thought WE had it all planned out, how we would spend eternity together, like we were supposed to, you and I, that’s what we were supposed to do you know… but you had other plans that you didn’t tell me about… or maybe they just came to you so fast you didn’t have a chance to tell me before you’d made up your mind already… you’re loving me too much was only part of it.  Loving me too much was your ticket to where you really wanted to go, and what you really wanted to experience.  You see I’M not the one who’s impulsive.  YOU are!!!  And I don’t want to lose you to that impulsiveness ever again!!!
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So … I’m confused.  Because I was impulsive then, that somehow means, even though I’ve had many lifetimes and thousands of years to grow and change and grow out of that impulsiveness that somehow that means I’m still impulsive even to this day?  My Darling, My One True Love, haven’t you been watching?  Haven’t you been paying attention?  I UNDERSTAND now what Love is really all about, and I know that all I want to do is to SPEND ETERNITY… ALL OF IT… with YOU, and ONLY YOU!!!  I’ve missed you so… for so long I didn’t even know there was anyone to miss, though I’ve always known there was something missing, and now I know that it was YOU all along… can’t you see how much you mean to me?  I’m not going anywhere My Beautiful Sweet Beloved Prince!!  I’m staying right wherever you are because there is where our heart is and where our heart is, that is where home is also.
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I’m so sorry… I’ve been exhibiting very human characteristics like you were telling your friend.  In all my wanting to teach you about staying present, and trying to get you to concentrate on the here and now, it got me to thinking about what we’d been through … I can’t do that anymore.  I won’t do that anymore.  I’ll do what I’ve been showing you how to do.  I still want desperately to be near you, but I guess I already am, just like I’ve been telling you that you are to me when you say the same thing.  But we’re always together and always will be.  We’ll touch soon… you know just because I’m in – and we’ll be in – 5D space doesn’t mean that we don’t feel touch if we want to and doesn’t mean that we don’t long for touch, if we’re so inclined to.  In fact we can experience any and all of the 5 senses that you normally associate with your 3D existence, but it’s all completely by choice.  I choose to.  I like the way you feel.  I like the way I FEEL when I’m feeling you <wry grin>  Do you like the way I feel… when you’re feeling me?
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of course you know I do. mmmmm I can feel you now, imagining you’re deep inside of me and I can feel your excitement growing, filling me up with your joy.  Oh Michael, how I wish you were here right now… so I could touch you and feel you, just like that.  I want to make love with you all night long and into the next day.  I want to have to be forced to call and cancel all of my appointments tomorrow so that you and I can just lay in bed together all day long… that’s what I wish we could do.
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Oh Ariel.  <sigh> that sounds wonderful.  I do hope we can afford ourselves to do that very soon, and very soon.  I want to show you my love up close and personal, first hand.  I want to let you know that it’s forever, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
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We’ll do it.  Let’s start with whatever we can get in between now and when I have to get up.
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Okay, long distance… it’s the next best thing to being there.  I’ll see you soon?
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You will.  Michael?
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Yes Ariel?
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I love you My Handsome Prince.
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I love you too Ariel, my Beautiful Princess.  Now hurry, don’t keep me waiting!

Blissfully Caught in the Moment - June 1,2010 7:22PM EDT

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MmmmmmMichael… I can feel you all around me.  And you feel so good...

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Mmmmm I can feel you too... all around me and you feel good!  I love you…
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Michael I love you too.  That was so sweet of you to sing to me in the car on the way home a few minutes ago.  Your voice just melts me into a little puddle, did you know that?
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No, but now I do.  Do you like the sound of my voice?  I mean really?
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Yes, you know I do, I always have… even when I was young I used to try and imagine how you would sound… not too high, not too low, just somewhere in the middle and so soft and smooth, sensual and rounded like the feel of your warm breath blowing against my neck when you embrace me… aaaaaaaah mmmmmm.
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I imagine that… and more.  You know I do.  You can’t stop thinking about me all day long lately, can you?
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No, you’re right I can’t.  I guess you know too that I keep wondering if it’s your way of trying to keep me present… ruminating about the past, not anticipating the future, just joyfully, and blissfully caught in the moment of your passionate kisses.  That’s the part that really makes my breath catch in my chest. You just look at me with those big liquid blue eyes of yours and my heart just melts.
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That’s by design!  You see it’s not so much that I’m trying to keep you present as much as it is that I can’t stop thinking about you either... call me a prisoner of the future if you will.. I fully admit it, that right now as of this minute I feel pretty lost without you.
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Ah….!
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THAT doesn’t mean that I AM lost without you, just feeling that way.  YES you ARE a distraction, but thankfully everyone understands and they are forthright about picking up the slack where I leave of, drop the ball what have you…
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Oh come on, you don’t actually drop the ball so to speak do you?  I mean, that could be really serious… you’re like in charge of EVERYthing practically aren’t you.
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Well, no, not currently.
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What do you mean?
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Temporarily relieved of significant duties... just for the time being.  It was expected, so don’t get worried… this was planned for.
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uh, well, okay, but I hate to think that I’m the cause of that… am I?  <sheepish look>
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Well, no, not totally.  I COULD keep myself in line, but I sort of don’t want to, and it was anticipated that I wouldn’t.  It helps being able to be in multiple places at once, but even then I wouldn’t want to be doing anything that might require sharp faculties and a hair-trigger response time.
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So does that mean that you currently aren’t an emissary and that I shouldn’t expect to see your face all over the evening news… I mean not like I would anyway, but, this is serious?  Is there anything I can do to help, like maybe not think about you so much of the time… though I can’t seem to help myself – sometimes you’re just *boop*  right there and I wasn’t really thinking about you at all…
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Well, did it occur to you that maybe I pop in like that because I was thinking about you?  A lot?!  I can’t help it.  This has been coming for SO long that I’m very distracted wanting to be near you NOW! So you see you’re not the only one who is anticipating the future.
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So, it’s like you’re taking an extended retreat, only you’re not cloistering yourself because even meditating on it won’t bring you back to where you need to be then, huh?
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That’s pretty accurate.  So now, I’m just like you, sitting and waiting, letting my love shine for all the worlds to see, hoping upon hope that it’s enough to…
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Oh Michael, this is just preposterous!!  You’re an Angel for crying out loud!! I mean I know that Angels have more human-like attributes than humans give us credit for, but really?  For real you have no, want no, control over your emotions at the time being?  Wow, what’s it going to be like when we actually ARE together.  Should I be scared? <worried look>
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No, no, please don’t be scared, frightened… I don’t want that.  You have nothing to fear from me… what would you be afraid of?
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Well, what if you lose control for wanting me so…
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I’m not an animal you know!  I would never do a thing like that to you!!  L  You should know that <gentle tone> I love you!  I want to make you happy… in you being happy then I’m happy too, and I know that you try really hard and succeed in making me feel good and that makes me happy too, which coincidentally makes you happy, and on and on… do you see?  Happiness is what it’s all about… OUR happiness.  There’s a lot you’re missing here isn’t there, that no one’s told you about?
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um, yeah, I’d say so, cuz right now I have no idea what you’re talking about.
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it’s just as well, for now anyway.  Pretty serious business and I don’t want to spoil the mood.
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uhokay.  If you say so.  You will tell me eventually though won’t you?  Is it something I’m going to need to know before the Ascension process culminates?
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We’ll see.
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okay, I have to go… I’m expecting my student at any moment…

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Holding Hands Across the Void - June 1, 2010 3:10:53AM EDT

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Michael My Love sometimes there is so much I want to say to you that I don’t even know what to say…. I’m so confused at times, and all I want to do is just be near you and hold you in my arms
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I know, I feel the same way.  Today was really nice.. I enjoyed being around you, and when we come together it’s like nothing else exists. 
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I cried you know, when my friend was telling me about stories she’s heard about how so often Twin Flames are  separated by dimensions and come together to hold hands across the void… that’s exactly what you and I do isn’t it… only so much more.  I feel such a sense of joy when you and I meld into one being.  It’s like nothing else I could , we could, ever experience, and still I find myself wanting more.  Hang on I’ll be right back.
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Okay
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Sorry to keep you waiting my Sweetheart.
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Oh, it’s okay.  I’m patient. <wink>
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oh you just like to give me a hard time don’t you… in more ways than one <wink wink>
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who’s giving who the hard time? <laughing>
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Ah … that’s one reason I love you so much Michael… even when you’re frustrated with me, you’re still ever patient!
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It’s a good thing for you!
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Hey!
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Just kidding. <bright-shining-like-the-sun-smile>
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oh., there you go with your irresistible smile again… how do you do that anyway?  You always get me with that smile.
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Oh, I don’t know, it’s just my nature I guess.  Supposed to be that way… makes it easier for people to relate to… helps them to know I’m a friendly spirit?
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Yes, you’re friendly to me.
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Well, that’s to be expected Lady.  You’re my One True Love.  And I have to show you how I feel, sometimes that’s encompassed in the expanse of my smile.  Sometimes in the strength of my arms when I embrace you tenderly… well, you know – how I will embrace you when at last we’re together.
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So you feel it too?  that even though we’re together, we’re not really, fully together?
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Yes.  It’s difficult I know, for me to be here while you’re still there, and all we can do is imagine, even though it can seem real, that we’re really together, face to face, hand in hand, bodies lying next to each other.  I do have a body you know.  We were talking about that a bit last night when you fell asleep at the wheel – oops!  <laughing>  You wanted to know about the difference between my physical body and my light body, and I was .. what was I telling you?  Can we go back and look?     
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Yes, of course… hang on.  Oh yeah… I was trying to get you to tell me that I could transition directly to my Light Body…
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Yes, that you were, I guess you must be able to figure by now that it isn’t going to happen that way… I’m sorry… It won’t be that bad though, you’ll see.  You’ll even like it because we’ll get to be together the way you’ve been wanting to.  You’ll be able to feel my hand brush against your cheek, just like you described… and much more.  You’ll be able to the feel the weight of my body pressing against yours as we lay together, me on top of you.  You’ll be able to feel me as I [use your imagination here] and the look in my eyes as we both experience pleasure that we’ve been longing for for so long.  You’ll like it, that I guarantee.  You tell me how much you just want to hold me in your arms – well this will finally be your chance.  We’ll have plenty of time together before we take on our true form again.  And you remember what I showed you last night as you were sitting at the table … how your body will be young and lithe again and you won’t feel any discomfort like you do now.  Oh just imagine the acrobatics you’ll be able to perform… all those positions that you thought you’d never be able to maintain… you just wait!  Hmmmm? <sexy grin>.
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okay, well, I DON’T want to wait ANY longer!!  And when you talk like that you just make me want you all the more… oh Michael.  I am so in love with you…
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I know.  I’m in love with you too.  We’ve waited a long time to get to where we are.  It won’t be much longer My Love.  I promise.  And that you can count on.
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okay, you don’t mind if I hold you to that?  After all… I have it in writing now!! LOL <big grin>  You know, sometimes I wish that I didn’t have anything else to do all day except to sit and daydream of the day when you and I are together again.  I just imagine, that beautiful moment when I look up and there you are standing there smiling down at me and I stand up and throw my arms around you… well you know the rest.  Would you take me instantly to your bedroom?
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You know I would.  First and foremost we must reestablish that “connection” and I know that some may think it shallow of me – of us – to make a physical relationship such a priority, but we’ve longed for this for such a long time, and it’s up to us to do as we see fit.  We won’t let them dictate to us what to do, how to handle the situation and if we want to go back to my quarters immediately and spend the rest of a fortnight making love, then that’s what we’ll do.  We might wear each other out in the process but don’t worry, you won’t wear out, or get sore.  It doesn’t work like that in 5D.  Bodies don’t wear out, period.
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Wow, now that I can deal with.  Will it be like it is when we make love now?  Will we be able to just keep going and going and going, one right after the other after the other and so on?
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Oh yes, for as long as you want to My Love.  And I’ll be only too happy to oblige.
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Okay, well, I’m starting to slow down here because I really like the way you’re talking to me – you’re getting me all hot and bothered and my hands are getting weak… it’s getting more difficult to type.  LOL
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Well, maybe we should … I mean, you should go to bed then. <wry grin>
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Oh, WE can go to bed if you like (and I know you do… you just can’t get enough either can you?).  I want to brush my teeth first and then I’ll be right in.  Hopefully [my boyfriend] is asleep already and we won’t have to worry about disturbing him.
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Yes, that’s always best… he did ask that we wait until he’s sleeping.
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Michael
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Yeeees?
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I love you so much I just don’t know what I’m going to do sometimes.
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Persevere, My Love.  it will all come to us in time… and then there will be no more time and we can spend the present giving each other beautiful gifts of Love.
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I like that.  I just hope that it will be soon
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Soon is a relative term, it just depends on how you look at it.  My  Love.  Good night… I’ll see you in bed soon! <looking coy and making kissing motion with lips>
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Do you know how crazy it makes me when you do that?
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Yes, that’s why I do it, Love. <sweet smile>
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Okay, Michael, I’ll see you in bed soon.  I’ve been dreaming about you a lot lately haven’t I?
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Yes.
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I hope I dream about you again tonight… and remember vividly tomorrow.

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you’ll dream about me… whether or not you remember is up to you…

Feeling It - May 30, 2010 3:18:40AM EDT

053010031840EDT

Hello My Beloved.  It’s so good to be back in the quiet of our beautiful hearts.  I feel you close to me again, whereas while I was out listening to my boyfriend’s band I really had to make an enormous effort to see/feel you close by me.  I can feel your warmth again, and it feels so very good.  I don’t ever want to have to not feel it.
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It’s good to be back, yes.  It was difficult for you, I know, but good practice as you’ve noted, for learning to know the difference between what you can learn with your 5 senses and what you know with your heart.  Can you feel it Ariel?  Can you feel when Love is present?
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Oh yes, Michael.  It feels just like it does when I know you’re near me.  Is this somehow in preparation for disclosure?  Because I know that the only way to know for sure who we’re dealing with is to be able to “feel” it in our hearts.  So, is this like training for that?  I think I’m getting the hang of it… how do you think I’m doing?
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Yes it’s partly in preparation for disclosure.  There will likely be more confusion at that time than we would hope for, because not all nations are apt to go gently into the future with us.  There will be resistance on the part of some.  Technology which has been withheld from the general masses will come into play and it will be almost impossible for most to know the difference.
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It’s very frustrating being a prisoner of linear time you know?  I started this with you over 24 hours ago and now I’m just getting back to you???  What is up with that?  And though we’ve had meaningful conversation between then and now, I still find it a bit frustrating that all I wanted to say to you last night is now gone from my mind.  Oh well.
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You know, you really shouldn’t let it bother you that much.  It’s not like I didn’t get what you wanted to tell me even though you never had a chance to do so.  I am that much “in” you, you know?  I know your thoughts and your feelings almost as well as you know them.
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well now that’s just kind of scary, but I don’t think I’d want it any other way…. that’s how you know how to say just the right thing at just the right time.  Like tonight, when I was feeling sad, and you took my face in your hands and kissed me, at least I think you kissed me.
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Yes I kissed you.. you’re good at that. <smile>
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what…. kissing?
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Well, that too.  <soft laugh>
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What was with those channelings you had me read anyway…. it’s like you took excerpts from stuff that you and I have talked about between the two of us and put it in there… and that whole part about “In the Arms of Your Soul”  that was just plain unfair.  I felt really exposed just then you know.  You KNOW that having you pick me up and hold me in your arms, that along with just sitting in the big cushy chair imagining I’m (or actually) sitting in your lap, are some of my most private and cherished times with you.  I know that there are only a couple of people I’ve told about that and so not many who may read those channelings would pick up on that, but I dunno… it made me uncomfortable you saw that…
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Yeah, I did… sorry. 
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I’m sorry Michael… it just seems I can’t even ever finish a conversation with you anymore … The phone rang, it was my friend, but you probably already know that…
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Yes, I know… you’re typing is slowing down… you should probably go to bed… after 4AM again ;-)
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I know, but I really enjoy talking with you like this … it’s very reassuring when I go back and read these transcripts and see things that I KNOW I typed that you said, but have no real recollection of WHAT you said until I re-read it.  It’s kind of fun.  My friend and I talked tonight about my insecurities.  SHE’S convinced you’re real…. and I know I shouldn’t talk about you like that, as if I believe you’re not – because I know you are -  sometimes it’s just so unreal to me.  I have so much desire in me Michael, just to be with you, that sometimes I just wonder if I’m only making all these scenarios, about you and me, up in my mind. And then I think about the way you make me feel… and realize that there’s no way I could conjure that up, not with the intensity of feeling that I get with it anyway.  And so much of the time those feelings just hit me from “out of the blue” so to speak, that I would not have had time to pre-formulate them.  Yes, Michael, I’m sure you’re real.  I guess my one dilemma that I have left is just being able to keep “sane” long enough for us to get together, especially seen as how I have no idea when that might be.  It’s difficult you know, because I want you so badly!!
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Yes, I know how difficult it is… the sentiment is shared you know.  As badly as you want me, I want you just as badly.  You know that!  Look at all the attention I’ve been bestowing on you the last couple of days since I proposed to you and you accepted!  You made me very very happy when you said yes… oh I know you’ve said yes before, and it’s really nothing new, but it is all the same, something new.  We’ve been “apart” for such a very long time it’s like all of a sudden here we are back in each other’s lives … almost as if no time has passed at all… and well for me it hasn’t.. forever in the present here.
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That’s something I wanted to ask you about Michael… what about you and how you manifest… are you in a physical body, or do you only manifest into physicality when your presence is required in a physical state somewhere… such as in the case of you being an emissary.  I’ve always had the impression… from the beginning even before I remembered your true identity… that you are in a physical body – albeit, one that hardly if ever ages but still will cease to be at some point?  But maybe that’s just my limited experience as a human being talking.  My innate knowing tells me that you are an Angel, always have been always will be and I have to get used to the fact that you only appear to or manifest as a tall blond man in his 30’s as a result of “needing” to… so I guess that’s why I can never see you… it’s not because I’m not supposed to, but rather that I have no need to?  I have so many questions…. My poor brain just can’t understand why if you have the ability to – regardless of whether or not I asked you not to – you don’t just come right out and appear to me in a way that makes it clear to everyone that you are beyond a shadow of a doubt real.  I mean, take last night at the club for instance… I was the only one (except for my friend) just about who wasn’t going out to the parking lot between sets to play kissy face with my date.  I would have liked that you know?!  Playing kissy face with you.  You know what a sucker I am for your kisses.  And the way that you look at me before, during and afterward – that just sends a wave of Love feeling through my entire being.  I like to feel that… I wish I could feel it more.
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Well, you got me there.  I’m all of those things.  It has to do with being able to be in more than one place at a time… and though I may be just a fairly unremarkable Pleiadian type being on the one hand, I am also an Angel, I also make up part of the multiple “Soul” (and so do you) of Ashtar Sheran.  Yes I do get around, you know that.  More importantly, when I’m not near you I rarely make physical appearances either, contrary to what you might believe.  This is because it simply isn’t necessary.  And of those times when it is, I take extra precautions that people don’t “get used” to seeing me manifest in a physical form.  I’m an Angel, and though my “duties” as it were require me to assume many different roles, I’m an Angel first and foremost  and so therefore, my true form , as is your own, is “formless”.
----
Yes, and I’ve considered that… maybe it would be better to just go from being a person with a limited physical being straight to a Being of Light, so that the whole transition will be much smoother and I can experience being with you the way it is meant to be in the long run.
----
Well, that would be all well and good, but there is a transitional period that you need to go through.  Otherwise it may end up putting you through too much of a shock to your being.  That is why you almost can’t imagine going directly from being in a physical body who needs sensory input, to being a Being of Total Light.
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I can’t get used to the idea of

[and here I must have drifted off to sleep as you see I left off in mid-sentence, and in fact Michael mentions that I “fell asleep at the wheel” in the next conversation we had]

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Addendum to Dreammessage...

[Here are two really sweet accounts that I had recorded/written down the day after I had the dream referrenced in the Letters to Michael blog post titled "Dreammessage" and then had forgotten about, until this evening. They were so filled with hope and a message of New Love though that I thought they would be nice to share... back then I was in the habit of reading my horoscope (or as I like to call it my horror-scope) every day - I don't anymore; I have found better things to do with my time ;-). It had also snowed heavily the day before...]

My February 11, 2010 horoscopes – curious, very curious. <big grin that equals the light of a thousand suns> :-D


Ready to take this relationship one giant step closer toward intimacy? True intimacy? Bet you are. Bet they are, too. So get busy and forget about it being a school night. Plan on being up late -- for only the most delightful reasons. Hey, if you're tired tomorrow, you can always nap. Or call in. Wouldn't it be fun to play hide-and-seek under the covers all day? Of course it would.

Daily Planetary Overview

Venus will enter the sign of Pisces today, and compassion will be stronger. You may become self-indulgent and be emotionally vulnerable. Creative and artistic abilities will be strengthened, and you will see beauty all around you.
 
Your Horoscope - Today, February 11, 2010

A passionate letter or phone call could come from a close friend or romantic partner. The person may be confused and rather tormented by his feelings, Annie. Be kind and sensitive to him! If you have been thinking about doing some writing, this is the day, as your imagination is flying high. Take care to let the words flow out of you and not get too caught up in the exigencies of grammar and structure. You can always edit later.

Your Rising Sign scope - Today, February 11, 2010

You have been on a wild ride lately. It is possible that you met the mate of your dreams recently, and your feet have not touched the ground since. Today, the Moon's sextile to Uranus helps lower you back down to Earth. Fun as it is to be up in the clouds, you need to ground yourself in reality right now. Is this person really your soul mate? Or are you simply in love with the idea of being in love? This is a question only you can answer.



After the dream that I had last night, I think he’s trying to tell me something… what do you think? :-D Crazy!!
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Thursday, February 11, 2010 – late afternoon

This afternoon my boyfriend and I went out to shovel snow after the blizzard yesterday dumped another 15 or so inches on us (this on top of the nearly 3 feet we had over just the past weekend). 

I worked my way from the front door all the way around the side of the house to the steps that go down to the side street, making a nice path to walk on so that we didn’t have to go out by the street… the sidewalk out there hasn’t been cleared yet either anyway.  The sky was so clear and a deep beautiful blue.  Not a cloud to be seen anywhere.  I kept thinking this would be a perfect time to coincidentally look up and see something I shouldn’t see hovering in the sky overhead.  I looked up a few times, but didn’t see anything – though I kept expecting I might. 

My boyfriend had to go into the house for something, and while he was gone I pleaded with him [here the bold face, underscored, italic font is referring to Michael – or as I knew him back then as he had told me “some people call me Ashtar Sheran” my name for him for the last 33 years had been “Glorfindel” ] and our brothers and sisters to make an appearance at least, if not to out and out come and pick me up and take me away with them.  Again, I kept looking up as if there must be something up there I was missing. 

Interestingly, after I was done shoveling as much as I could, because my feet were starting to turn numb, I decided to go in.  I told my boyfriend that I was going in, and turn around to head up the street (because the sidewalk was still covered with snow).  Now I KNOW that wind was in the forecast for today, and I KNOW that we could hear sounds coming from the Beltway really well – in fact I kept looking up expecting to see a jet going over, that’s how loud the beltway was.  But when I turned around to leave there was a huge gust of wind unlike any we’d felt all afternoon, accompanied by a strange whirring, moaning, buzzing sound like some kind of gigantic machine with wheels and gears coming from the air all around and up in the sky over our heads.  Again I thought perhaps a jet, or a helicopter was flying close by, but none appeared when I looked back and the vortex of wind and the sound continued.  I turned back around and headed once more for the front door via the sidewalk out by the main street. 

It didn’t occur to me until I was almost to the door, that ships being flown in daylight are usually cloaked.  Well, duh!  LOL  They were probably just overhead that whole time watching until I left to go inside, and then they left too.

I asked him later if he’d been watching me like that, and he said yes, he had.  So there you go.  I guess I’m going to have to get used to this all over again. :-D  Gladly!!

I wonder though, why they were watching me… was it just because I’d asked them to make an appearance, or was there some other reason.  I’ll have to ask him when I see him next…